Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Be Honest with Your Matchmaker

It's ok to be single. Screw everyone who tells you you are only whole as part of a pair. Love is a high stakes game, not for the faint of heart. If you're not up for another heartbreak just yet, or you are having too much fun to settle down, or you prefer being single so you have something to complain about, or if for any other reason you are not really ready or interested in loving another, I'm not the one hating on you. Just please be honest with your matchmaker instead of wasting her time with your excuses. Thank you.

Just to review:
You are NOT too busy to have a bloody cup of coffee with someone.

Being within a 10-mile radius of your residence has nothing to do with a person's character. I am going to at least two weddings from long-distance relationships this year.

You have nothing to "think about" when you have only basic info about someone. Meet the blind date, and then "think about it." That's how dating works. You actually have to meet people before you make judgmental generalizations about them. And no, just because that blind date didn't turn out to be "The One" doesn't mean it was a waste of time. You can learn something from anybody, if you keep an open mind!

It's not that there aren't quality people out there, it's that you're extremely picky. No matter how many times you insist you are laid-back and easy to please, you are extremely picky. No need to lower standards, but seriously, what does race, wine preference, or knowledge of certain movies have to do with building a life partnership?

Shut up. And Love.


  1. Stop channeling my life this week!

    Alles Liebe!

  2. You know what's really weird, is that even if you DO happen to find "The One," they won't be The One for very long - unless both of you plan to freeze time and stop growing and experiencing and changing as soon as you meet. Long-term relationships take more hard work and perseverence than anything else. Sometimes you have to just stare at the person and mutter, "You love them, remember? Don't kill them."

    "Ready" for a relationship doesn't mean that you want one, necessarily. It means that you've reached a level of maturity that gives you very, very strong willpower and self-control, because those are the things that make relationships work.

    In my experience.

  3. I'm a single girl, and I guess I have a question or two about your anger at your single friend, because this situation happened to me not too long ago. Did your friend actually ask you to set her up, or did you just spring this on her? If the answer is the latter, then I fail to understand your hissyfit and feel REALLY bad for your friend. Mind you own business, lady!

    Anyway, sorry to rant, but as a single girl I've had lots of problems lately with people being mad at me when I don't just want to drop everything and meet some random guy. However, maybe your friend has been asking you to help her. That would be totally different. After all, if she actually ASKED you, then I guess you would have a right to be annoyed.

    So, did she ask you or not, or were you just being a busybody who got annoyed when she didn't drop to her knees and thank you for taking five minutes to set her up with someone she'd never heard of and had no intered in. Just sayin....

  4. Totally valid concerns, homegirl. That's why I said, "if for any reason you are not really ready, I'm not the one hating on you." You don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be a fulfilled person! If a friend or family member has a problem with you being single, tell them you're perfectly fulfilled with the love you get from your friends and family. :)

    People sometimes ask to be on a "list" of folks I keep in my planner for matchmaking purposes or I tell them about the list if they express a keen interest in settling down, because I have occasion to meet a lot of people. My rant wasn't about any one person, but several people that same week. There's nothing wrong with choosing to stay single, but since people think they're supposed to want something else, sometimes people will say they're ready to date when they're really not. And it's annoying as hell - moreso for the person trying to date them than for the matchmaker, but, hey, I don't keep a blog so that THEY can rant.


  5. Maybe "Be Honest with Yourself" would have been a more appropriate title?



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