Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Fight songs for lovers

Getting married isn't an accomplishment, but staying married is, and staying married is an accomplishment I'd like the bragging rights to one day. Today, for example: still married.

John Gottman, who runs the famous Love Lab (his book Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work below), has data that proves that long-lasting couples don't disagree any less than troubled couples do. That's a relief, because my Beloved and I disagree ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes, these disagreements cannot really be resolved. Gottman says that's ok and sort of inevitable. A person with a bad elbow, he'd explain, can live a great life as long as he doesn't make playing tennis a central part of it. Cute metaphor, Johnny-boy, but it's not my elbow! It's my husband. How do I not I kill him? I use this playlist:

Monday, January 23, 2012

Flowers for the New Year

My new year well-wishes were worth every lucky dollar.
Because Lunar New Year is not a national holiday where I live, the boisterous celebration of hope will have to wait until next Saturday. I don't mind. I been waiting a while for a new start.

Two years ago, Tet was on a Sunday (and also Valentine's Day), so I'd planned an epic New Year's Eve party with delights like home-made mangosteen sorbet. My mom was coming from out of state to be a part of my Beloved's proposal - and we would be able to announce our engagement at the party, too. But that week, the sort of tragedy that stops time happened - time like the helpless moment when you've lost control of your car. I've been stuck in that fishtail moment, that terrible sliding before nothing-good, but this year, I finally feel my life coming un-paused.


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