When we have kids...

 My Beloved last night: Maybe when we have kids, we should give them one present on Christmas Eve to keep that German tradition, but give them another present on Christmas morning like the American kids.

Me: That could work.

Beloved: They'll post about their early presents on Facebook or whatever, and all the other kids will be jealous and wish they had a German dad!

Me: Yeah. No one wants an Asian mom.

At least Buddhist children don't get punished by Krampus.

 

Can he stay? In America?

What we wore. Are we a more plausible couple with my hair down or my eyes closed?

It's not often that a relationship blogger is summoned by the government to demonstrate the legitimacy of her marriage, so I just had to take a break from marital bliss to give you the highlights from our interview with the Department of Homeland Security, Citizenship and Immigration Services, yesterday.

Immigration Official: When you met him, what made him stand out to you?

Me: HA! (nervous laughter)

IO: It's just my job to ask questions.

Mom's Unconditional Love

I finished reading The Art of Description by Mark Doty over two months ago, but I can't shelve the book, because I keep needing to read this poem he quotes to feel sane.  It's the poem I've been in no shape to write.  Do you identify with the mother racked with unconditional love? The practical, and probably rightly angry speaker?  Or the speaker at the end, who suddenly realizes and marvels at the weight of this mother's love - as mysterious and beautiful as the moon?

How's Married Life?

I separated 3 packs of M&Ms by color to decorate this
Eurovision-Dusseldorf cake... for love.

1. How's married life?
2. Does it feel different being married?
3. What's your new name?

These are the most common questions I've fielded since my wedding, and that can mean only one thing: the People demand a Shut Up and Love blog post on these three topics.

Here's a full report, eight dear readers: weddings and marriages have nothing to do with each other.

Wed.

In Texas, where I'm from, there's a three-day waiting period to marry (3 days longer than it takes to purchase a firearm, by the way, which is why you shouldn't mess with Texas), so a little over a month ago, my Beloved and I flew to my hometown the Tuesday before we were to be wed there.

Soon after, our friends and family started arriving from all over the country and the world - and we put them to work. Our celebration of love thereby turned into the grandest communal expression of it, and whatever heartache we felt when regretful RSVPs rolled in (they don't warn you how sad that part of wedding planning can be) melted before the exuberant faces of those who gave us the honor of their presence.

Cure for Cold Feet

A girlfriend said, "Imagine taking a guy's shirt off and seeing this." I'm posting this ad so someone can refer me to it if I get cold feet before the wedding. It reminds me that while my single life is worth a good bit of nostalgia, there are some distinct perks to committing to a partner with known abs.

Actually, I kind of want one for myself.

Cultural Differences: Wedding Planning

Mom: It's ok if they just say this part of the ceremony in German. Everyone will get the idea from the context.
Cousin: Germans can all speak English. They study it in school.
Uncle: How can you assume Germans speak English?  I live in America, and I don't speak English.

Mom: Since the reception will be Asian food, I'm going to serve French snacks and cake at the ceremony.
Uncle: Won't Germans be sick of French food?
Me: What does French culture have to do with anything?

Aunt: You really need to get serious about losing weight; your wedding's just around the corner.
Sister: Are you kidding? She's lost weight. This is Ivy SKINNY! 
Aunt: Oh my god.
UPDATE - I'm adding the rest of this conversation due to interest.