For honesty's sake

It's popular at a certain age to treat dating like a game, one where you manipulate people for sex or free meals, but playing with people's hearts, from whence their lifeblood flows, is cruel. I learned that lesson the hard way, and I decided to not be a player no more.

Hard as this is, I have to be honest with some men who no longer have a chance with me. Here goes...

Tony, Tony, Tony...please. I'm not In the Mood for Love with you anymore. We have to stop this Infernal Affair.

Adrian Brody, you knew from the get-go this was a rebound thing, because you're American Tony Leung, and I can't believe you have the nerve to call me after the Oscars when you kissed Halle Berry on national television. Wutev. Don't look at me like that. I'm engaged now.

My Beloved Proposed: An American Engagement

I always felt that public proposals in Hollywood movies are an impossible promise. The subtext is, "If you would forget that I've acted like a churl for the past 90 minutes of this film, I'll give you a life of cinematic romance. If you won't, everyone here will remember you as a witch even if you've been the movie's heroine."



Ever wonder why these movies don't have sequels? Because the sequel would be dashed dreams and resentment.

New look: You are air to me.

Have you ever run from someone you wanted to hold? Held a grudge longer than you could hold out hope? Hated yourself so much, you tried to be impossible to love? You’re not that special, you know. I’ve felt that way. And so has that lady on the train. And that dude that drops off your packages. And the person in the cubicle next to you. Just ask.

Shut Up and Love's new look, with the blurry people in the background, is about this universal vexation, how we feel and how others seem when we're loathe to love. See, people were lonely way before it was cool. And love –Love! - isn’t great. Lemon gelato, that’s great. Love is breathing for your soul. Does breathing count as great? Well, I guess so, to someone who was suffocating.

I’ll stop holding my breath, k? And you stop holding yours. Because you, my friend, are air to me. YOU are air to me. Is that weird? Gay? Unprofessional? To love you? Probably. But I love you. And I think you should love you, too. Yeah, it’s hard, but do it. Just shut up and love.

Relationship News Roundup

Men think about love, too.
And what thoughts! Somebody with a camera's going around asking men, “If you had one piece of advice that you’d give another man about love, what would it be?” Some answers are romantic, others pragmatic, but they all seem pretty honest to me. (Check out the site.)

Love in arranged marriages, lots of it
Studies show that love in love marriages start out high but decreases over time. Love in arranged marriages starts out relatively low, naturally, as in some cases the people barely know each other. This scientist found that the love in arranged marriages, however, then increases gradually, surpasses the love in the love marriages at about five years. And 10 years out, it’s twice as strong. (Listen to Scientific American podcast.)

The Scent of a Man
I always wondered how I could enjoy the sweaty stench of my Beloved. Apparently, his hotness is because his immune system is very different from mine. Someone's starting a dating site that includes a personality test and a genetic profile. (See the Washington Post article.)

Man marries pillow
A man in Korea has made a body pillow his bride. It's funny for about 2 seconds, before it's not. How isolated must we be for this to happen? (See the Huffington Post commentary.)