Monday, August 31, 2009
What does it mean to love yourself?
Is it holding yourself accountable to your dreams every day? Is it working out, eating healthy, and letting yourself go to bed early? Is it forgiving yourself for for falling short of both those things most days? Been trying to figure this one out, so consider your advice solicited.
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I think loving yourself is a feeling -- some behaviors might naturally follow but I wouldn't define it by those behaviors. Loving yourself means believing you have value and worth and deserve respect and compassion. It means truly hoping for the best for yourself.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of doing metta meditation (instructions for those not familiar -- there are a few ways but that's one way to do it). The first part of the practice -- extending love to yourself, always seems to be the hardest part for most people. Where I learned to do it, we'd always repeat this
May I be happy.
May I be peaceful.
May I be free from suffering.
May I be filled with lovingkindness.
So I think saying that, and really feeling that for yourself and believing that for yourself is loving yourself. And I think from that feeling, treating yourself with respect -- taking care of your health, working to make good happen for you, and forgiving yourself and not being ashamed of yourself -- naturally follows.
Maybe "tough love" is good self-love: pushing yourself to excel, and rewarding yourself for a job well-done. Or maybe just being comfortable in your own skin.
ReplyDeleteYikes! I don't know about this one. I always want to think that it's selfish to worry about me and take care of others, but I don't think one knows how to help others if he can't help himself.
This sounds like a 5 hour conversation on the back porch after a few drinks...
I'm not sure I can nail down the definition, but I think the practice of Love should be the same for yourself as it is for others. I think the real goal is to not treat ourselves any harsher than we do those we love. Would you forgive your mother for making a mistake- yes. Do you still love your boyfriend if he gains 20 pounds- yes. Do you want only the best for your best friend and believe they shouldn't needlessly suffer through details or judgment- always. Do you believe that your brother should have a plan for his life but also cut himself some slack from time to time- absolutely :)
ReplyDeleteI am quoting all of y'all in a future blogpost! Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI believe "Love yourself" means to embrace your character flaws and accept yourself as you are. They say "In order for others to love you, you must first love yourself", but personally, I believe it's the MOST overly used cliched phrase. I don't think that phrase inspires members of the opposite sex to love you from the get go. I believe that phrase was meant for people who are ALREADY in relationships, as not "loving yourself" COULD be the leading cause of today's breakups. As far as getting a person ATTRACTED to you, that's a TOTALLY different scenario. ATTRACTION comes before LOVE as one leads to the other. You may be asking "What is it that causes a person to be ATTRACTED to the other person"? VERY GOOD question. You see, it's a VERY COMMON misconception that girls are attracted to jerks and assholes. You see, it's their BEHAVIORS and CHARACTER they were displaying for that time that drove them wild. But girls can mistake LEDERSHIP and CONFIDENCE for ABUSE and being mistreated.There ARE some girls who DO enjoy being mistreated, but is that REALLY the type of person you'd want to spend your life with?? As far as attraction goes, it's PURE old school masculinity that's going to drive a woman wild and keep you out of the INFAMOUS friend zone EVERY TIME!! It's NOT about "Inner/outer game" "pickup lines" "Day Game/night game" or "Kino escalation" AT ALL, it's ALL about our mindset and knowledge to demonstrate our true masculine nature.
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