Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Fight songs for lovers

Getting married isn't an accomplishment, but staying married is, and staying married is an accomplishment I'd like the bragging rights to one day. Today, for example: still married.

John Gottman, who runs the famous Love Lab (his book Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work below), has data that proves that long-lasting couples don't disagree any less than troubled couples do. That's a relief, because my Beloved and I disagree ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes, these disagreements cannot really be resolved. Gottman says that's ok and sort of inevitable. A person with a bad elbow, he'd explain, can live a great life as long as he doesn't make playing tennis a central part of it. Cute metaphor, Johnny-boy, but it's not my elbow! It's my husband. How do I not I kill him? I use this playlist:

Try belting out "Love on Top" while dancing like we did in the 90s and staying angry. Impossible. Do you think Beyonce listens to her own songs when she's mad at Jay-Z?

Imagine Tyrese is singing on your husband's behalf.

Usher croons about how miserable it is to be mad at each other. And he's right.

Things that sound cheesy in English sound sincere and romantic in Spanish.

Dimitri from Anastasia was a dreamboat, ok? Every girl loved this movie when it came out. Imagine my surprise when this song came on my Beloved's iPod one day, and we both knew all the words. The refrain's true: "Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing."

You can purchase Gottman's book here (all purchases from the widget support this site)

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