Fight songs for lovers

Getting married isn't an accomplishment, but staying married is, and staying married is an accomplishment I'd like the bragging rights to one day. Today, for example: still married.

John Gottman, who runs the famous Love Lab (his book Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work below), has data that proves that long-lasting couples don't disagree any less than troubled couples do. That's a relief, because my Beloved and I disagree ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes, these disagreements cannot really be resolved. Gottman says that's ok and sort of inevitable. A person with a bad elbow, he'd explain, can live a great life as long as he doesn't make playing tennis a central part of it. Cute metaphor, Johnny-boy, but it's not my elbow! It's my husband. How do I not I kill him? I use this playlist:

Flowers for the New Year

My new year well-wishes were worth every lucky dollar.

Because Lunar New Year is not a national holiday where I live, the boisterous celebration of hope will have to wait until next Saturday. I don't mind. I been waiting a while for a new start.

Two years ago, Tet was on a Sunday (and also Valentine's Day), so I'd planned an epic New Year's Eve party with delights like home-made mangosteen sorbet. My mom was coming from out of state to be a part of my Beloved's proposal - and we would be able to announce our engagement at the party, too. But that week, the sort of tragedy that stops time happened - time like the helpless moment when you've lost control of your car. I've been stuck in that fishtail moment, that terrible sliding before nothing-good, but this year, I finally feel my life coming un-paused.